Twelve Tips for Throwing a Green Tea Party

• Tip One: This party belongs to you (and the others who attend). Do it the way that helps people feel most comfortable. These are just tips, for you to use if and when they’re helpful.
• Tip Two: Invite a variety of people from your community. Diverse perspectives enrich the collective wisdom of the group. Green tea parties can happen once with a particular group, or you may want to invite the same group regularly (weekly, monthly, or whatever).
• Tip Three: Sit in a circle. You can start off with refreshments and chit-chat, but after a little while bring everyone together. It doesn’t have to be a round circle, but the idea is that everyone can easily make eye contact with everyone else.
• Tip Four: Introduce the conversation with a welcome and thanks for coming. Then explain the intention. One way to do this is to read “How Green Tea Parties Help” on About Us. Reading through the rest of these tips (5-12) will also help get everybody on the same page.
• Tip Five: Begin the conversation with intros, even if everybody knows everybody. Beyond everyone’s name and a few words about themselves, this is a chance for each person to briefly address the questions: What’s on your mind? What’s in your heart?
• Tip Six: Some people talk so much that it’s hard for anyone else to get a word in. You may need to gently step in, and say something like: “Thanks for your perspective. I’d just like to open up the conversation now, so we can get a sense of what others are thinking.”
• Tip Seven: If people keep interrupting, you may need to make a general statement such as: “We’re so used to cutting in when we talk to each other. But catching ourselves before we do that can really help the tone of the conversation.”
• Tip Eight: Some people talk very little. They usually have something wonderful to contribute, but they may need to be asked. You might also say something like: “It helps when we get more comfortable with silence. Pauses give people who are more hesitant a chance to jump in.”
• Tip Nine: Trust that the topics of conversation will emerge by themselves. Once people really begin to share what’s on their minds and―especially―what’s in their hearts, the conversation naturally moves to what’s most important to the people there.
• Tip Ten: It’s essential to move beyond opinion to the values and assumptions behind our opinions. Exploring our differing ways of looking at the world can sometimes be uncomfortable, but creative new ideas emerge through the spaces between our perspectives.
• Tip Eleven: Listening is key. We listen best when we put our own opinions to one side and just focus on understanding what others are saying from their point of view. It also helps to listen inwardly, to our own reactions (which often we’re not even aware of).
• Tip Twelve: Be clear about your start and end times, and stick to them. Usually two hours, including arrival and chit-chat, is a good length. Respecting everyone’s time is a true gift, and it makes people more willing to come to your next green tea party!